The Common English Bible brings its first baby into public for the first time today, with the online publication of its version of St Matthew’s gospel. On the whole it seems to me to have some good colloquial writing in places, though I think it confines itself too much to a single specific reading age to do justice to the variety of the material. There are, however, in my view on a very quick first look, some decidedly rough edges.
A quick trawl through the first five chapters reveals various infelicities. I hope this is only a draft, rather than the first excerpt of an already finalised version.
Here are some examples of what I mean, together with one I really liked.
- 1:17 “fourteen generations from David to the exile to Babylon, and fourteen generations from the exile to Babylon to the Christ.” I find that repeated ‘tp’ clumsy and potentially confusing “from the exile to Babylon to the Christ”. Perhaps “exile in Babylon” would be better.
- 2:6 “you aren’t at all least among the rulers of Judah”. A little later with the quotation from Jeremiah the CEB does quite well with poetic diction, so this is a slip, but it’s a very clumsy one, and hardly flowing English – “You’re by no means the least …” would be more fluently colloquial, although I would prefer a more formal diction for the poetic oracle.
- 3:12 “The shovel he uses to sift between the wheat and the husks is in his hands” Shovel?? Who sifts with a shovel? This takes the “reading age” thing a bit too far,
- 5:4 “Happy are people who grieve, because they’ll be made glad” I like the alliteration between grieve and glad, but I’m not at all sure about that “Happy are people”
- 5:17 “Don’t even begin to think that I have come to do away with the Law and the Prophets.” I like that emphatic colloquialism”
- 5:18 (and elsewhere) “I say to you very seriously” seems to me a rather ponderous English equivalent for that punchy and characteristic “Amen. I tell you …
Just a few initial thoughts. I hope to ponder this one a bit more fully
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I’ve made some comments at the Better Bibles Blog. As to yours:
1:17 Agreed. Perhaps “Babylonian exile” would be smoother?
2:6 Agreed. Or perhaps “You’re no way the least…”
3:12 Agreed. “Pitchfork” is probably better.
5:4 Yes, I don’t like “happy” either, but what’s the alternative?
5:17 I think that “Don’t even think” is just as emphatic and a little less wordy.
5:18 I see the problem. Perhaps “Seriously, I tell you”? I’m still not completely happy with it.
“I’ll tell you straight up.” That’s colloquial — at least to an American speaker.
Actually, on the beatitudes it was less the word “happy” than the phrase “happy are people” which just struck me as odd. I think (this may be a BrE vs an AmE thing. I would prefer (minimally) “Happy are the people who …” Perhaps “How fortunate are the people …” but perhaps better to reword entirely ” How great is God’s blessing for those who grieve, for they shall be glad.”
Except it could be shovel.
See a winnowing shovel
The Greek word is ptuon which seems to have been more of a shovel like tool than a fork.
Now that’s interesting. Thank you. I suspect they need the word winnowing in there, despite the fact that it’s a difficult word.
The translation of 1 Esdras is much better in the CEB!
The CEB changes “Son of Man” to “Human One”! Totally unacceptable!
Ah, a reasoned argument.
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